smudged.
everytime we'd kiss & pull away, across my vision
smudges on my glasses.
and i would always be reminded of the kiss
cleaning the lenses later that day
and it would make my heart burn.
each kiss a chainsaw
clear cutting forests and igniting the stumps.
you built bon fires in me without ever knowing.
this just hurts so much because last year, things weren't like this.
posted by maria. 6:03 PM
he was standing next to a ghandi-lookalike, both were sucking down cigarettes and shivering in the wind.
posted by maria. 1:26 PM
i will still exist
but i don't wanna.you make
me feel make me feel
that's fine just tell me
so come on as of friday
i will still exist
standing on my bed
this is what you want.cloud your day
singing in the rain
posted by maria. 7:35 PM
fishies, for your reviewing. pick your top 7. please post top seven at gff using either number, or titles. or, if you know of another poem that you think would be better, that'd be the best.
.5.
i had forgotten
the time when you had smiled
at me and the lines of your face
all merged
and you looked so unforgettably
beautiful, that i forgot how to write
right. --> written on the
floor in pale pink chalk next to my feet,
you had scrawled your
name, each letter flowed into the next
like traffic in new york city, where
the lights are green long
enough to get through
three intersections.
----
and discontinued.
slash and go.
/&go.
once there had been music so ripe with sound
that it exploded like.
/&go.
fires in the sky last year
on the bridge over the kenduskeag.
go and slash.
stream canoe race
climbing on rocks like ivy
through your fingers
go&/.
last night.
i'm a poET.
is that not a hard industry to break into?
&/go.
discontinued conversations
because life got in the way.
but i forgot to smile at you
the one time i should've
and now.
go/&
what about all the times
when we knew we were definite.
where we began
and ended wasn't a question.
&go/.
scrawled in pretty pink letters on the floor.
please don't forget smile one more time.
1.
desperate like a sunset.
the woodgrain followed the prints in my fingertips
feeling like silk against calloused hands.
it was 70s decor, lame yellows
and wood panelling.
pale pink curtains
and an avacado in the sink.
i asked you to go driving with me.
you agreed and we left.
the road sang silver in the rain
and the windshield wipers kept an uneven tempo
and i turned off the dashboard lamps and let the
blue moonlight echo through the car.
your lips looked so kissable at one in the morning, and i just smiled and drove.
2.
i'd like you to know.
i've taken up skydiving because i went to the psychatrist and they said my falling dreams would cease only if i fell from the sky. so i've decided to change my name to star and fall from the sky like poems on a saturday night. and so if my parachute doesn't open and my jumping partner and i plumet to the earth in startling beauty, i'd like you to know that you were my star up until that point, and even after you turn into a blackhole, you'll still be the only star i wanted to fall with.
3.
two in the morning.
route 1a west, merging into route 1 south, into searsport.
to the cove.
we didn't speak, knowing that silence always answered all questions either of us had for the other.
quiet echoed like a thunderstorm on a humid day
and the pale moon illuminated your face.
i held my breath.
i had forgotten how beautiful your lips look when they're not moving.
flashlights and fireflies led us down to the ocean's edge.
we sat on the rocks,
the ocean kissed our toes.
and we sat lightless lifeless in the dark listening to the song
the waves sang as they caressed the rocks
with salty crests,
leaving saline foam in their wake.
can't you taste it?
4.
i stood
open palmed
face strained
towards the
gray waiting.
for rain to
fall in uneven
rhythm against
the delicate.
skin covering
closed eyes.
5.
burnt.
sleep had fallen across the quiet sky
and i was loud without it.
the stars i had kissed from your eyes
dashed the velvet black
with blue.
the moon was half pregnant
and glowing fever red
matching my sunburnt nose
and cheeks
as the light from the moon
spilt across my room.
6.
i got lost in your eyelashes,
you closed your eyes and entrapped me
like a venus trap to a fly
the difference being that i never struggled to get free until
now it's too late.
7.
letting me stay here.
i touched you at the bend of your arm
you flinched at the shock of cold fingertips
on warm skin because how could it be
that after a night under body heated sheets
with you, that i was still cold?
8.
three.
you were melting like ice cream
off a cone
during an indian summer
as you s
li d
out of
love
like a snake side
winds
through sand
leaving
a skin
so thin
yet so lifelike
it really looks like
love.
9.
dozing to dispatch on a wednesday night.
when our eyes grew tired of the light
we closed them
and our lips met in sleep that was
heavier than our arms and legs
which were lethargically entangled.
quiet acoustic guitars and
harmonies sang to us
as we dreamt of one another
while spring breathed through
your open window.
10.
unfinished.
like suffocating
words would get caught in my throat
and struggle to tear their way out
of my mouth
and kick against your eardrums
until the meaning was misleading
and the sentences were
11.
prefect eulogy.
i traced your eyes in green, not leaving a spark of blue to be found.
you only recognized it was you because of the queer smile that poured from your face
down the front of the page.
i sent you on a thursday
via airmail and arrived the following
year amongst foreign words and lands.
i wrote you a house of matches
that burnt to the ground under heavy enemy fire.
"thirty days a year isn't enough
time to tell you how much i love
and miss you.
when i gave up last year, i kept you in the dark
corner of my heart
and didn't want to see that i could
never give up on you,
so there you stayed when you went away.
but now i'm leaving, and i think you must know
that i've never cared for anyone
as much as i care for you."
but you never read the words i wrote
the way they were meant to be read.
12.
in no sense.
i watched you lilt down the sidewalk towards me on the swings.
summer air ached between my toes
as i explained to you theories and paradoxes and love.
i told you i'd like to rearrange my face
and swap mouths with you
as we flew through the air giggling like little girls.
13.
i curled
like a rose petal peeled
from a bud.
you burnt through me,
ashed pages flew
as i was engulfed.
i gave gray a silver lining.
14.
brace yourself.
the busy signal winced three times
before i gave up on you
and left the phone swinging
off the hook,
beating the wall in an unspoken
silence.
15.
the boy with the soft, brown, smiling eyes and pierced ears who djs at a club in orono.
his smile makes me melt.
when he asks if i have a frequent buyer card, i blush and get flustered and stutter "yeah" and when i can't find it i stumble over my name as if it were japanese and he was french and couldn't understand.
and when he says "have a good night" and when i smile "you too," he always smiles and says "thank you," like my act of kindness (which is really me saying "I LOVE YOU, LET'S GO MAKE BABIES") made his night, like no one had ever said it before.
except for that it probably didn't.
one night, a friend and myself ended up at the store where he works, and we were the only people there, besides the two store clerks, he being one of them.
the other joked about his kanga taxicab hat and how they should count how many people ask him if he likes ska.
and i smiled silently when i caught him out of the corner of my eye as i grabbed a desaparecidos cd.
he always looks down into my eyes because he's so tall, but it's nice that way.
when i was sitting on the couch waiting for my friend, he came over to stock the rap section, and he threw me an unexpected smile, and i blushed and after he turned away, i pulled my scarf over my face and wished i never existed.
he works at bull moose music, and i want him to be mine.
16.
it only took me three years to get over you.
&when the smile on my face melted into a frown
&you knitted your brow into a scarf which i wrapped around
my neck &covered my face with
&breathed you in through my nose
&out of my mouth into the air
where you permeated like smoke
&i choked on a snowflake that
you caught on an eyelash &landed
on my cheek.
my smile puddled &froze in
the snow of a quiet january.
17.
morning after.
i watched the sun pour over
your body as it streaked through
the bedroom
window and bathed each contour in
gold.
"you should've seen that sunrise with your own eyes." i kissed
the stars from your
eyes and savored the
blue
that echoed in my
mouth.
18.
dressed like that.
where are you going tonite, dressed like that?
out to save the world in your red and blue spandex with my red towel tied around your neck.
i laughed and told you to wear a jacket;
even super heroes can catch pneumonia.
not me, you snigger, for i am anti-pneumonia boy.
and frolicked out the door.
i frowned and looked down at my bare feet.
i knew you wouldn't be coming back
because saving the world takes longer than a lifetime.
19.
a love affair with a magnum.
it was a full frontal attack and there was nothing i could've done to prevent it from happening.
and i was stuck in a hole by the ocean with an unruly indie star who writes music that is always misdubbed as noise with overly meaningful/meaningless lyrics.
he smelled like sulfur and sweat and beer and marijuana.
and i laugh.
because i know what marijuana and beer and sweat and sulfur smell like.
his sand papered voice would swim through my brains as i'd fall asleep tasting him in my mouth.
like turpentine and cinnamon.
he burnt.
i'd wake in the morning covered in shards of charred clothing that stung of blood and tears.
and songs against sex.
only to find the hole filled in.
i went up the creek without a paddle.
and now i don't know how to get back down.
20.
mid drag. when the tables were turned. you leaned against one of the news cars and in frustration, turned your head towards the sky and closed your eyes. and i wanted to explain everything to you, but i was suddenly lacking the words, just like i always used to, every time i wanted to tell you everything i ever felt towards you, when i felt it. you spilt my life out of a red cup onto the cold octoberian ground when i cried and fell into your arms that night. all i wanted to do was be there to return the favor. but unlike that night, you were able to stumble your way past me and scramble your way into the cabin, into someone else’s arms. and even though i've fallen from that wire, i'm still dangling from your fingertips, holding my breath with the hope that you'll inhale me in lieu of the carnivorous carcinogen you're used to. exhaling, i'd be more satisfying than any smoke that's ever spiraled through your lungs before.
21.
when we danced. and you pulled me
close.
and i could smell your sweat
bleeding through your shirt.
the smile that bled across my face
was a darker shade of translucent
than the sweat that danced
down your forehead.
as you whispered true words
that were wrong at time.
but i smiled anyway
knowing you didn't know how to act.
react.
at that moment
when you shouldn't have said a word
but did anyway.
22.
119.
after a drive up to greenville to take pictures
i leaned against an oak tree
and smiled at the blue sky
and remarked on the smoke like clouds
and smelled wood stoves burning
in a city of trees.
i slid down the trunk and kneeled on the moss.
not knowing that under the same blue sky
cloud like smoke was billowing out of buildings
as they fell to their knees
with no moss to cushion them
in the wilderness of the deep forest of sky scrapers.
23.
from a wire.
i am the end to all of your endless nights. all the sleepless dreams, the daydreamed nightmares. never-ending nights chopped short with a guillotine, disconnecting your body from consciousness.
i am the condensation running down your can of root beer, quickly wiped away onto your big pants, soonly evaporated, leaving nothing but a memory of coolness on your leg.
i am the definitive barbie doll queen. fake and plastic, frozen positions, only moved when you want to move me, only changing when you have the time to change me. fake smiles. easily melted, highly flammable.
i am the girl you dropped the phone for. left off the hook, dangling from a wire, listening to the silence of your house as you rushed to find me crunched up in the corner of my room, lonely, crying, empty.
i am the drift of snow chasing you down the sidewalk. tired of harsh winds, the warmth of your soul is appealing to my cold exterior. you melt me, and i linger on your shoes and pants, only to be thought of as annoying wetness. soon i evaporate, and am not missed.
i am the words that have yet to been wrote. the ideas stir frying in the heads of millions, boiling to be spilt onto paper, letting the steam spiral upward into the room, permeating the air with the quiet scent of incense and ramen noodles.
i am the aroma you leave, lingering in a dainty masculinity, causing hearts to flutter and minds to overflow in tantalizing thoughts of what could be and what is not.
i will be the one you leave behind.
24.
drowning in poetry.
during an evening excursion to borders
i found myself stumbling into the poetry section
in uncomfortable girlie shoes.
i flipped through, author by author,
until my fingers danced on billy collins' spine.
the art of drowning.
i thumbed my way through the book,
pausing when my eyes landed on
"the best cigarette."
i remembered e-mailing you that poem
when you were trying to quit.
and that night at work when you failed,
when i cared more about your health
than you.
then angry e-mails ensued.
i sorted myself out for you,
in a series of teary phone calls and e-mails.
and we were ok, but unfinished.
that day when you came in from smoking at work,
the looks on both of our faces screamed.
i'm sorry.
but neither were heartfelt.
i slammed the book shut, cursing billy collins
for dragging me into his poetic undertow.
25.
on nine of 12.
in loving memory of adam lebel.
i can only imagine the way your fingers embraced the can that nite
the cool warmth inside must've curved your lips upward in a fleshy sharp turn.
never did you imagine that it would all end that night.
12 hours before, you chomped on my goldfish crackers,
squeezing their lives out using your teeth.
fourteen hours later, a silver can,
not you own, squeezed your life,
traveling over one hundred hours per mile
out of the curves of your paved sharp smile.
26.
seven haiku three.
demi god.
he laid in the leaves,
and the rain pooled in reflective puddles
in his dark hair.
sprung.
the tiny green head
of a crocus, protrudes
through a white blanket.
sunrise.
the steam rose
from my coffee cup and bathed my face
in yellow light.
posted by maria. 7:29 PM
i'm maria. i like the way planes look from behind and dancing to ymca before the ten pm newscast and boys who want to live in ireland.
http://ohcomely.blogspot.com
posted by maria. 12:23 AM
i apologize for that last poem.
it was weak.
i confessed it wholeheartedly.
because when i get crazy dumb
over some super odd fantastic
boy who doesn't quite fit in
words fall weakly out my fingers,
no matter how i strain against them,
they fight back with clichés
and usually win due to my
vulnerable state of being OUTTHERE
for someone else to take.
posted by maria. 11:40 AM
i wanted to be under your nails.
we bonded over splinters.
"it was THAT BIG"!
three inches of wood
buried in bare feet.
"it was the most pain i'd ever been in."
and a smile.
because your subconcious
conciously knew that i'd die
to be craddled in your smile
and to fall asleep in the iris
of your eyes.
posted by maria. 11:28 AM
i wanted to keep you in my pocket, and protect you forever.
posted by maria. 11:17 AM
test one two three.
posted by maria. 1:08 PM
i had forgotten
the time when you had smiled
at me and the lines of your face
all merged
and you looked so unforgettably
beautiful, that i forgot how to write
right. --> written on the
floor in pale pink chalk next to my feet,
you had scrawled your
name, each letter flowed into the next
like traffic in new york city, where
the lights are green long
enough to get through
three intersections.
----
and discontinued.
slash and go.
slash and go.
once there had been music so ripe with sound
that it exploded like.
slash and go.
fires in the sky last year
on the bridge over the kenduskeag.
go and slash.
stream canoe race
climbing on rocks like ivy
through your fingers
slash and go.
last night.
i'm a poET.
is that not a hard industry to break into?
slash and go.
discontinued conversations
because life got in the way.
but i forgot to smile at you
the one time i should've
and now.
slash and go.
what about all the times
when we knew we were definite.
where we began
and ended wasn't a question.
slash and go.
scrawled in pretty pink letters on the floor.
please don't forget smile one more time.
posted by maria. 1:03 PM